


The Danish Dudette

by bewareofitalics



Category: Hamlet - Asta Nielsen, Hamlet - Shakespeare
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 04:52:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/820181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bewareofitalics/pseuds/bewareofitalics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hamlet is totally a girl.  Why does no one notice but Fortinbras?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Danish Dudette

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Asta Nielsen's silent film of _Hamlet_ , which has some significant differences from the original play. Important background details: Hamlet is a woman disguised as a man, Fortinbras is the king of Norway, Fortinbras goes to Wittenberg and makes friends with Hamlet and Horatio, and Hamlet goes to Norway instead of England and gets Fortinbras and his army to come back to Denmark with her, but they stay behind while she kills Claudius and then they show up right after she dies. Also, Fortinbras has long, curly, blond hair.
> 
> Fortinbras's characterization here is based on _Fortinbras_ by Lee Blessing, sort of.
> 
> Written in 2006.

Fortinbras may have been blond, but he wasn’t dumb. He was, however, starting to wonder if his fellow students were. 

Maybe it was just that, as a Norwegian, he was used to bitter jokes about “Princess” Hamlet. Fortinbras had been raised with the expectation that he would someday march right in and conquer Denmark, and that it wouldn’t be difficult at all. Some ambassadors who had actually been to Denmark even speculated that Hamlet really was female.

Meeting Hamlet for the first time, Fortinbras was obliged to agree with them.

Maybe it was the slight build, or the delicate features, or the high-pitched voice. Maybe it was the oddly lumpy chest. Maybe it was the fact that he really sucked at fencing.

It wasn’t the excessive make-up – _everyone_ at Wittenberg had _that_.

Whatever the reason, it seemed obvious to Fortinbras that the Danish dude was a dudette. And he was baffled that no one else seemed to notice.

“Hey, Horatio,” said Fortinbras one day, “have you noticed that Hamlet’s been looking a little…pretty…lately?”

“What? No!” said Horatio, blushing inexplicably.

“Riiiiight,” said Fortinbras. “The lad doth protest too much, methinks.”

“Huh?”

“Never mind.”

It wasn’t that Fortinbras didn’t _like_ Hamlet. He had a good head on those dainty shoulders. It would be a pity to conquer him. In fact, Fortinbras was considering forming an alliance instead. In _fact_ -

In fact, on the off chance that Fortinbras was wrong about Hamlet’s gender, he was just going to forget he ever had that thought. It’s not like he had much chance anyway, what with Hamlet making googly eyes at Horatio at every opportunity.

When Hamlet got the news about his father’s death, he had collapsed in Fortinbras’s arms. Well, his and Horatio’s, but Fortinbras tended to forget that when he replayed the scene in his memory. He had wanted Hamlet to stay there, wanted to hold him and soothe him and wipe away his tears. _Her_ tears, Fortinbras reminded himself.

He’d been overjoyed to see her in Norway, even though he’d been asked to cut off the heads of her two followers. Rosenstern and Guildencrantz, was it? Whatever. And even when he agreed to help her and his courtiers thought he was insane. Well, he’d always planned on conquering Denmark, and so what if it _was_ for someone else?

Although, truthfully? He still hoped to be King of Denmark by the time it was through. He’d propose when she was standing triumphant over her uncle’s body, he planned.

Except that this time, he _had_ been dumb. What on earth had possessed him to let Hamlet go a-conquering alone? Why hadn’t he insisted on marching in with his army? And when he finally did get to Elsinore, why hadn’t he gotten there just a few minutes _sooner_?

At least he had the satisfaction of being right, Fortinbras thought as he mounted the throne. But somehow, neither that thought nor the crown helped at all.


End file.
